Heart
by veramo
Summary: "I truly did love you, and I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine. I can't live without you because my soul would die. I'll spend the rest of my life loving you." Loki/OC


"Now child stop your crying, it will be alright." The voice of my faithful, yet however very old, maid broke my sobbing. Wiping away the tears that now streaked my face with the back of my black dress, I composed myself to show how a former princess of Asgard is supposed to act. I was supposed to be strong, like Thor with his mighty hammer.

"I am fine Annbjørg, no tears can hinder me." I hastily gathered myself and my skirts and left the ground. Rushing to the golden doors ahead of me, I pushed them open with all my strength. This was no formidable task for me. Since he fell that fateful day, I feel like he took all my strength with him into the abyss to which he fell. Returning to the party, I saw Thor looking at me with saddened eyes with Odin matching his. Sif, my dearest friend, nodded to me in a court but knowing way. With puffy eyes, I lifted my head up high and ventured into the crowd.

Within moments, Thor's hand found mine as he gave it a strong squeeze. "Siri, may I have a moment?" he said in his low voice.

"Yes your highness, where?" I asked with a slight quake in my small voice.

"Follow me if you will," he said releasing my hand and beckoning me to follow him. I trailed behind the large man who had just recently become my king. He was taking me to a secluded corner of the large ballroom where none by Heimdall with his all-seeing eyes could spot us.

"Lady Siri," he whispered turning to me. "I saw you leave, you are pale and weak. You never eat, I doubt you sleep, and just a few hours before my coronation you snapped at one of your hand-maids. Now I know that you are dealing with his-"

"No Thor. I do not wish to discuss this. Now I tremble just to be a part of his as I was, but I thought that we would begin a life that would never end. He is gone. Nothing more." I turned from my "King," if that was he should be called, rudely and once again rushed from the golden room. I did not care if I was out-of-line against my sworn king. He did not know what I felt, he had his own desires. Yes, he was his brother, but he was my lover.

Rushing into my bedchambers that I so often shared with him, I found my feet taking me into his specified armor and clothing room. The vast expanse smelled of him. Standing in the doorway, I feared that his scent would escape into the bedchamber and never again stain his clothes. Shutting the door and walking into the dark abyss, I moved to sit myself under a rack of his tunics. The smell of musk, spices, and pine rushed into my nose as I placed my face into a dark colored tunic and breathed deeply. Finding my mind racing from both the mix of emotions and the lack of incoming oxygen, memories began to play through my mind like a show.

_"Siri," he whispered with a groan. His hands were on my hips as I sat on top of him with both of my legs on either side of him. My mouth was connected with his neck giving him extreme amounts of pleasure. I worked my skilled tongue where he was the most sensitive. This sent gooseflesh up and down his body. He was rubbing my back and lower extremities sending the same sensation up and down my body. His long and limber fingers were tracing circles on my back and on my neck._

_I removed my mouth from his neck and hungrily moved them to his soft lips. The tension of his stressed body and the longing of mine caused the air to be hot and heavy. Beads of sweat began to form as his tongue battled with mine. His hands moved up to my blonde hair as he pressed up against me to deepen the kiss._

This was when I was known as the Whore of Asgard. At but a mere age of 16 in Midgardian years, the raven prince only found me during a sweep of the city by his father. Rather than being whipped for my indecent life, he took me in as a spoil. This was seen as acceptable for a prince to do, to take a whore as a mistress was seen as customary for an unmarried nobel. However for a girl to sell her body for the need to survive was seen as a crime.

I was naught made to sleep with him. Months past and I always expected him to force me into bedding him when he retired for the night. However he barely spoke to me, only a nod of the head was all I acquired.

This night I forced myself upon him. A man who would not bed a girl famous for her techniques was daft, and I had to see for myself if he was truly mad or just respectful. Entering that night to see me already in nothing but a simple white shift, the prince was already increasingly uncomfortable within the first minutes of seeing me. Timid at first, but then willing.

_"For one so small, you seem so strong," he whispered into my hair. Thinking I was asleep beside him, he looked me over with his emerald eyes. My naked body was curled up into his side. In nothing but a simple pair of breeches, he ran his fingers over my bare shoulders in a feathery stroke. _

_"They'll see in time. We'll show them together." He finally spoke these words to me in a hushed tone as if they were never meant to be heard. I promptly opened my wetting eyes to this. A lone tear fell from my hazel eye. Thinking I was sad, he brought my face up to his and kissed the tear from my red cheek. _

_"What is wrong little one?" he asked with genuine concern in his amazing eyes._

_"You don't think of me as but a whore in the palace?" I said in choked words. I was on the verge of tears. If this man who was acquiring my heart thought of me as but a woman to bed until he is satisfied, I would be likely to die broken._

_"No. No matter what they say."_

That was all I needed. HE was all I needed.

I knew that moment that I loved him. A Midgardian year after seducing him, I fell in love with the God of Mischief. I did not reveal my hidden feeling to him. Neither one of us told each other about our love for each other for a long while.

_I was crying in the hall. I had heard women of the court talking foul words about me. Fearing that I would steal their husbands from them, they were plotting to go before the Allfather to demand my expulsion from Asgard._

_My dark haired Prince was away with his brother on a mission to the outskirts of Asgard to solve a simple quarrel between two neighbors. I feared no kind words would come to be in this moment._

_'Don't listen to them,' came a voice inside of my head. Shocked at first, I thought I was going crazy from his absence, but as it continued I felt his warm arms around me. _

_'What do they know? We need each other, to have, to hold. They'll see in time. I know.' These words were warm and comforting in both my aching heart and my solemn mind. _

_'Go to bed Siri, I will be back tomorrow evening.'_

I was a whore then, but I became the sworn lover of the Prince of Lies. Needy and broken, this memory made me disgusted in myself. Damn them for accusing me of lechery with married men. They did not know me, no one did.

_"What am I?" he said turning to me and removing his casket from his hands. His pale skin was now an icy blue with unnatural scarring along his chin and forehead. His once emerald eyes were now a blood red with dark and unyielding pupils. His look took the breath from me and I felt like I would die of suffocation._

_"Say something!" His sudden raised voice startled me out of my trance at his appearance. A tear fell from his left eye and turned to ice when it reached the middle of his cheek._

_"I-I-" was all I could say in my state of shock and fear. The fear came not from his skin, but rather from his red eyes that had a look of bloodlust in them._

_"I knew it. You would not be able to accept me for who I am." His voice was hurt and strained. His eyes burned once more and he looked murderous. Seeing my amped fear, he looked down to his boots, unable to look me in the eye. His skin started to return to its natural pale color. When he was free of his blue color, I slowly moved towards the now heavily breathing man._

_"I am the monster mothers tell their children at night," he whispered. _

_When I stood before him, I took his hanging hand in mine and brought it to my lips. I kissed his palm and fingertips. Finally looking at me, I stood up on my tiptoes and took his face into my hands. I pulled him down and wrapped my arms around his neck. His face buried itself in my hair and his arm wound around my torso. We stood their intertwined for many minutes before I moved my head to whisper in his ear. _

_"I love you."_

_He stiffened then stood up in his full height (at least a head taller than I) with his arms still wrapped around me. He stayed that way for a moment staring me down before he suddenly leaned down to capture my lips with his. _

_We stayed in a lip-lock for only a few seconds before he removed his mouth from mine and moved it to my ear._

_"You'll be in my heart, always. Siri, I love you too."_

I took him in for what he was. I loved a frost-giant with my whole being, and yet I was not scared in the least. Later on, the pressure of king moved on too him, and that was when I truly began to fear him. Anger and pride took over his heart. He was no longer the man I feel in love with, rather he was a stranger to me. After confessing that I had his heart, he soon took it back.

I just laid in the clothing room for what seemed like hours. My mind and my lips began to move and talk in the darkness.

"My love, if you can hear me, just know how I miss you. I miss your touch upon my face when you remove a stray hair from my cheek. I miss your arms around my waist when you surprise me in the halls. I miss your kisses on my nose that I so dearly despised before, but I yet loved when it was you." Tears once again began to spill over my eyelids.

"I forgive you for turning your heart away from me when Thor was banished and you found out what you were. I truly did love you, and I'm holding you safe here in this heart of mine. I can't live without you because my soul would die. I'll spend the rest of my life loving you." Harder and harder they fell. Unstoppable tears flowed from my face. I removed the tunic from its place on the rack and leaned back onto the floor with it in my hands. My hair splayed all around my head and my dress shifted to my knees in a pool of fabric.

"I fear many but loved none. You were the first who received both emotions from me. For two Midgardian years I loved you, then in the span of a week I feared you. Thinking you would turn and strike upon me, I cowered in your fits of rage. I never received a kind word from anyone save for Sif until she left to retrieve Thor. I wanted the man I loved back, but he was replaced by someone who was dark and foreboding. I forgive you for pushing me away." Tears. Harder and stronger than ever before. My voice cracked with each word and the darkness just swallowed them.

"I miss you," I said quietly and in choked words. No more could be said. I lay there for many hours. It was before dawn before I rose to retire into my bed. Removing my dress in the dark, I placed the tunic that I had been clutching over my body where my dress once was. Improper attire for a woman as the tunic stopped an inch below my womanhood. Removing the black fabric of my mourning dress and my golden sandals, I moved towards the door in nothing save for the tunic that once belonged to the man I loved.

Placing my hand on the wood of the door, I pushed it open a crack before I heard a rustling behind me. Scared and startled, I froze in my spot in front of the door. I heard footsteps behind me that stopped mere inches from my body. A cold hand snaked its fingers from my right elbow up to my exposed shoulder. The hand removed itself almost as quick as it came. The cold lingered on my skin even after it left, leaving me frightened and shuddering. I suddenly pushed open the door with all my strength to let the light of the bedchamber penetrate the darkness of the room. Swinging open, the light poured in from outside and I was temporarily rendered blind to it but once I regained my composure seconds later, I slowly turned to see who had touched me.

The sight of the person behind me made my breath become caught in my throat. I began to tremble and shake from my head to my feet. I slowly backed up into my bedchambers still facing the figure. Whenever I took a step to back away, the figure took one as well but advancing towards me. Choking on my own words, I could barely speak, but one word managed to escape my lips.

"Loki."

-x-

Just a little short drabble :) Loki is better than Thor.

I PROMISE I will get to updating my LOTR fanfic asap. Sorry for the wait. Anyway, I reblogged a TON of Disney songs from movies on Tumblr and I can't stop listening to "I'm Gonna Love You" by Jennifer Love-Hewitt from the Hunchback of Notre Dame II and "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins from Tarzan. So quotes from this song are in this story.

I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews make me ever so happy. :)


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